Life Unscripted with Kevin Shook
Welcome to 'Life Unscripted with Kevin Shook', a heartening podcast where embracing vulnerability is the key to success. Join your host, Kevin, as he dives into the stories of remarkable individuals who have transformed their lives by opening up, facing challenges, and finding strength in their most vulnerable moments. Each episode features inspiring conversations with guests from various walks of life. Kevin's journey of embracing vulnerability has led him to meet amazing people, and now he brings their wisdom, laughter, and insights to you. Tune in and discover how embracing your vulnerabilities can lead to your greatest victories in life, both personally & professionally.
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Life Unscripted with Kevin Shook
Embracing the Unplanned Journey: Boundaries, Identity, and the Power of Choice
Have you ever felt boxed in by life’s supposed script? We're tearing up the rulebook in our very first episode of 'Life Unscripted'. Float with us on a stream of consciousness as we welcome Adetokunbo Adeshile, an author whose literary journey has swung from the technicalities of time management to the fantastical whispers of fiction. Together, we traverse the landscape of his Philadelphia upbringing, unearthing the authenticity and resilience that fuel compelling tales.
Strap in as we navigate the delicate dance of self-care and the power of a well-placed boundary. I'll be sharing some personal tales about learning to respect my limits, the art of saying no, and how that's not just good for me, but for those around me too. We'll reflect on the subtle art of balancing ambition with wellness, and the strength we can all draw from honoring our values—even when that means taking the path less traveled.
Wrapping up our premiere, we face the potent brew of sobriety, identity, and the ever-present need to assert oneself. From the challenges of owning a unique name to the broader currents of race and power dynamics, we embark on a discussion that's as grounded as it is graceful. It's a toast to personal growth, to the victories won from standing firm in our choices, and to the touching moments of human connection that follow. Join us, as we celebrate the unscripted symphony of life and the freedom found in every choice we make. Here's to the beginning of a journey none of us could have planned for—but one we wouldn't trade for the world.
Life Unscripted with Kevin Shook.
Speaker 2:Okay, so episode one of Life Unscripted. Life Unscripted, and that means unplanned, unplanned Although we did plan the podcast A little bit, we can't really plan life, that you know. Going by a script is almost impossible.
Speaker 1:So that's a lesson I wish I learned a long time ago.
Speaker 2:Well, I think you know all of us because, whether it's, society pressures us into thinking we need to live a script or we need to live a narrative or whatnot, I feel like the pressure of that just causes so much stress and anxiety because what we expect life to be based on the scripts, and then it doesn't turn out that way.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So we are just a couple of guys on a podcast.
Speaker 1:There we go. We're not doctors, we're not lawyers. No, no, no, no, not at all, not at all.
Speaker 2:So thanks for being on episode one of Dead or Combo. Hey, thank you for having me. Kevin. So a dead or Combo's published author, he has multiple books. Are we up to like six books?
Speaker 1:now we're trying to get there. We're trying to get there. So there was your first book there's Well, my very, very first book is a time management. It's called the college hustle time management. So Thanks for being on time today.
Speaker 2:Hey, you're welcome, you're welcome, you're all well. I know it was last notice, but so when did you write that book?
Speaker 1:Man, I wrote that probably 2015. Okay, yeah, it's been some time and then, you know, got a little nervous about writing the next thing, took it too seriously and so took a long time from getting back to it. Funny thing you asked. I just and I'll be real quick about this, but I was just looking at some reviews on there. Like man, people have used this in their classrooms. I thought it was a great piece of material.
Speaker 1:Your first word first book, which was horribly edited by hey want, want, want, right, you know so, but that's something I've noticed and you know, I kind of was like, oh, get back in writing. I look at reviews. Like people used to say, though, this is a great source, you don't stop, Don't hold yourself back.
Speaker 2:That's good, especially like on a bad day. Oh yeah, you get on there and just oh you know you actually read my shit?
Speaker 1:Yeah, People read it in classrooms.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it did get used in adult education.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it got used both in high school I think high school, middle school because I remember one of my former instructors one of my math instructors reached out to me. He was a great guy, always helped me in school. But he reached out to me, said he used in class, and then one from a instructor from Ivy Tech reached out to you know they had to left a review, so it's like that's awesome.
Speaker 2:So when we say they used it, did they use it as like part of assignments?
Speaker 1:I'm not. They used it as their material, so I'm not exactly how to incorporate it in, but it was one of those things that was suggested to their students.
Speaker 2:So yeah.
Speaker 1:And then the rest of your books. The rest of them are in the kind of fancy world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I have I admire you for being able to write and publish, but I can't like. It's way beyond me. But I was never like a Harry Potter type person or nothing.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, they don't. They don't have magic in the hood, it's not magic in the hood.
Speaker 2:This says nothing about the hood in these new books. No, that's what man I wish you would write about some of that. Growing up in Philly, you know that's something that held you back from, from writing nonfiction growing up in Philadelphia and everything. Has it helped me back? No, because I would love, because you've shared stuff with me and a man I would like, I would love to know more and and you piece together your childhood through in a book and then that would be huge.
Speaker 1:You know I I'm going to consider that a little bit more, because you're not the. You're not the only person who mentioned that, and my biggest thing is I just wanted to be as positive as I can be because some, some not.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, there's some ups and downs and some right.
Speaker 1:But I think, I think my experience in Philadelphia definitely influences my writing, you know, because it's things you know like I'm writing in fancy world. Things are realistic and people have to deal with real situations. So, even though we're having fun and you're a fun moment, like it's still very real, there's some grit, yeah, and that's that.
Speaker 2:I mean life unscripted, that's kind of like. I think it'd be really cool to hear the bads as well as the goods so people understand, you know, in those situations they might be, in that there's still hope that they could move to Richmond and go to Earlham and still become something, despite all that adversity growing up. Plus, I want to know where to get the best cheese stick in Philadelphia.
Speaker 1:Well, that one I can at least tell you right now. Max's guys go to Max. Where's that? That's one of the best places. It's in the hood. I forget the exact location, but you can search. It has two or three X's, I forget how many, but you can find it. Just know what you're ordering. Events they're. They're Philadelphia nights, which means they're very direct A little bit. Oh, it's like, yeah, hurry up. Or if you don't know what you want, get it back in line.
Speaker 2:I'm just extra meat, extra cheese. You'll be good to go.
Speaker 1:Most likely. Yeah, you'll be good to go.
Speaker 2:All right. So, circling back to episode one of life, unscripted, here we are. We do have a topic and this topic, I think, is huge because what I have learned, you know, in the past year I've went through sobriety and I'm like 330 something days I didn't have to pull the app up, but, yes, we're about to a year and I've got my head on my ass and I've been more powerful um harnessing my energy towards the right things. Uh, it's cool when, like you, just don't go get drunk and then that shuts off everything, right, right. So I've been more efficient. Um, I'm still working on the time management stuff like that. But, um, more people have came forward and trusted me um with their businesses for marketing and advertisement. Um, so what I used to have time for, um I really don't have as much time for. So there's been instances where I've had to say no, right, Right, right To to some propositions, questions, whatnot? Power of saying no and assertiveness in self-care. Um, I know I'm known new personally for, uh, probably seven years.
Speaker 1:We're in there, yeah, six years, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I know we've both been in that situation Absolutely Um, whether it's professionally, personally, with family members, um, a time to say like, a time where you had to say no, right, um, whether it's out of like your own wellbeing, yeah, um, or so I'll ask you the first question what does it mean to assertively say no, and why do you feel that might be important for self-care?
Speaker 1:It's the notion of you teach people how to treat you. You teach people how to treat you so, but that essentially means you will say no to some things and yes to some things because of who and how you, who you are, how you want to be respected. So for, for example, this is something that I did not do, and now I'm learning the benefits of why. I should have done it for my own, like personal feeling of goodness. I'm not a. I don't have big issues with nicknames overall, especially with a person like myself, with my name as it is, but I do value being respected, and I remember an organization I worked with. They shortened my name, gave me a nickname, which would typically be fine for me, but it seemed more of a. I'm just going to chop your name up. They were just too lazy to learn how to say your name.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is different than someone saying, hey, this is my homie right here. I'm gonna give him a special nickname because this is the person I care about and I respect and treat you. You can tell a difference. You can. You can tell a difference. Now, some people who that, short of my name, you could tell like they meant like hey, we brothers. You know that's fine, but for some people and many people, that was not the case and it was until very recently that I have the experience of talking amongst.
Speaker 1:I was talking amongst my. I'm a Mason, so I was talking to some of me, sonic brothers. You know, I haven't been able to talk with them for a while. They're like hey, I did the combo, blah, blah, blah. Hey, at the combo, yeah, blah, blah, I was like it feels so good To have my name said appropriately and without any question. Well, it wasn't a question. Wherever we will use your name or not, I was like this is this man's name. You know. Now, of course, in my experience some people use excuse. Oh well, you know, I don't know how to say that this time. Yeah, I was like no, respect is respect, right. But I didn't understand that when I was going through the process of having people just kind of furl together a name for me, so I Did not teach them how I want to be treated and I felt now on the on the back end that, like man, in some ways, you kind of allowed yourself to be disrespected for a while for some years here.
Speaker 2:So it's just donnelly. I haven't used that nickname since we work together.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, we don't, we don't use that, so. So I mean so to kind of bring it back.
Speaker 2:If I can, let's pronounce your name. I'm feeling English class in 12th grade of high school. If I, if I, can learn how to pronounce your name, then anybody can then anyone, and it really is just about respect.
Speaker 1:But that's teaching people how you want to be treated. That is saying yes and no, two things and the the boost of self-esteem, confidence and no. Like you go into a place and people respect you based on what you've requested. It's really important. So, kind of going back to the main topic, in your life you're gonna be presented with various situations and Part of how you feel about yourself is gonna be reflected as to where we say yes or no.
Speaker 2:So allowing them to call you by your nickname, although it wasn't a nickname that you approved.
Speaker 1:No, no, no kind of, and I had a friend who told me early on was like man, don't let them do that. I was like man. I just, you know, I was new. I was like man, I just need a job, I don't need to cause waves right now. I was like, hmm, sometimes you do need to cause waves that might cause you a job, and so I mean, that was the. That's one of those difficult things you have to ask yourself. But I think, as you build a firmer foundation in yourself and do some things to prepare yourself like have your applications out there to multiple places you can say, hey, this place isn't True to me. For respect that's, I'm gonna say no to that because ultimately, you know life, we don't get to stay here for a very long time. Right, you got to enjoy those moments and that self-care comes from saying I take care of yourself.
Speaker 2:You got to take care of yourself, no one else is going to do it.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, you you are Is if you care about other people in your life, you are responsible for taking care of yourself. This is one different. We can go on a tangent without that. That's one of the hardest lessons it's been for me to learn to see it like if you don't treat yourself well, even your best effort you're still gonna. How you treat yourself is going to rub off on how you treat other people.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely the worst of how you treat yourself is still going to show up on other people, and you may have no inclination For that at all. Absolutely, it will come out because it's a.
Speaker 2:So as a caregiver, being a paramedic, I got to take care of people, right, but and it goes up to down with my health and everything else and and I'm still in the trenches with my freaking diet after the holidays, but I can tell to when I'm not, as you know, eating as healthy and sleeping and everything else you can you're kind of sluggish and now you can't really take care of people Effectively. You know you know better than you would. So, yeah, that's so true. So, or with sleep, so that. So situation with that you, you know you had a hard time saying no to them, calling you a different name. How could you deal with that and Overcome the guilt or the fear you might have, like you are fearful of maybe Getting in trouble?
Speaker 2:right, right, I mean that but so how does one overcome that?
Speaker 1:and um, well, I think it takes some. So this is the hardest part. It takes some time of sitting with oneself. I mean, that's really the hardest part, it's like some reflection Kind of like.
Speaker 1:You have to say, with some reflection, find out what you value. And the challenge of some of this is you may not know how important it is until after the fact Right. So you always kind of have to be in reflection, which is hard for us to do. We live in a fast-paced world, you know there's lots of things, lots of distractions out there, but I think part of it is from reflecting on like who do I want to be, how do I want to treat myself, how do I care for myself and what am I willing to exchange for that Absolutely, and is that really worth it? Sometimes it might seem like it's worth it, Other times not. I think there are. Well, I was saying earlier is there's multiple situations where you can be resented wherever you say no or yes, and you have to understand that you are responsible for your care and other people even have the best intentions. They may not be as conscientious.
Speaker 2:That's right. They might not understand what it's going to do to you.
Speaker 1:Right. So here's an easy example the, you know, use the teacher martial arts. We stay up. We would be at the martial arts school for hours and hours, you know, and sometimes because our teacher had more training for us no disrespect for them they were trying to pass on an art man.
Speaker 1:I understand that, but I wish younger me would have said or understood like this is respecting your personal time at this point because, even though this is great material, you need to learn it. You need to sleep because your body needs it, your ability to do your job needs it, your ability to talk to your family members, to, to, to retain the information you need, that they may be willing to provide you with this information, but you need to gracefully balance it. I'm sorry, but I have to say no to this because I have to stay within my own boundaries and I think, understanding that the impact of not taking care of yourself and not respecting yourself by saying no one's appropriate. I think that awareness that you you build over time that allows you to say no more gracefully. You can't say no to everything.
Speaker 1:I will say that as a caveat. I think you have to be open to saying yes to things that help you grow. If that's yourself, is this going to help me to grow? But then balance. That was like how much is it going to take away from something that?
Speaker 1:is my personal time management. Back to the time management I need to sleep, I need to eat Hopefully, I need to eat. Well, I need to take some time for for personal development. And these are things you have to ask yourself. And when people present things to you, there are multiple times you have to kind of quickly or say give me a moment, let me think about that. But you have to make a decision. Does this balance with my personal needs? And it sounds very selfish, but it's self-focused not, or self-interested, but not necessarily selfish. You still want to be willing because you have to stay whole. You have to stay whole. Yes, at the end of the day.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, you have to stay whole. You can understand and see how saying no to certain things helps you to stay whole. The easier it is. It might still be uncomfortable, but the easier it is to say no, even if you say yes. And this I don't like doing this. But you say yes and then you realize, like you know what, this probably isn't good for me.
Speaker 2:That's the worst.
Speaker 1:You're absolutely right, but you have to do it, you do, you have to do it.
Speaker 2:An example I have I used to have a group up here all the time that has a podcast and it was fun, it was funny, everything else, and at the time I didn't really have like a super busy schedule or anything, so I was able to record it and everything else. And then and we were doing it almost weekly or bi-weekly and I was great and stuff and then they kind of wanted to branch out and go into the bars local bars and record it and expected me to come do that. At the time I was just started into my sobriety. So for one, I really didn't want to be around a lot of drunk people and I could be around them. They were really good friends of mine, so they could be as drunk as they want to be up here. I didn't care. I still loved them. But to break equipment down, go sit up at a bar, have a lot of really sloppy drunk people around me that a lot of them I might not know. Plus, I already got anxiety. I've already been popped with that.
Speaker 1:I had to say no Sounds like it would be a lot. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I feel bad and you know I probably I feel like I lost two friendships out of the four or whatever. But I had to say no Just because at the end of the day, I would be spending three, four hours doing that around a bunch of drunk people that with my equipment that I have, they weren't paying. They weren't a paying.
Speaker 1:I got you.
Speaker 2:They were giving me advice and they helped me, you know, learn this whole process. So, but it's still at the end of the day. Now we have clients and everything else and that relies on this equipment. Right Plus plus, I probably would have lapsed, and that's a problem for it If I'm in the bar every week around a bunch of drunk people.
Speaker 2:I'll probably gonna lapse. So that was. That was the example of me saying no out of my own self care, and then obviously that paid off. Yeah, I feel bad because I had to say no.
Speaker 1:How have you have? How have you worked with that? Or maybe we're still working through that? How have you?
Speaker 2:just, I mean, I mean, they know I love them. Yeah, you know, we just we obviously have a lot different lifestyles and that's fine too. I love diversity and I love having different shows up here and you know they were comedy. You know, then, a lot of what we're doing up here now is like community engagement, entrepreneurs, alumni, stuff like that. So so I miss it. But you know, that didn't today. It's got to be. It's still. It's your time, your focus, and now we have so many other projects going on, some that you're helping us with that. We have to contribute a lot more time to a lot more focus. Me being sober is number one Absolutely, because every time, you know, I fell off the wagon and I pretty much crashed the whole fucking business. So if you're not, if I'm not sober and in good health, nothing else is.
Speaker 1:Nothing else is good, and I think that's one of the key things. Going back to this, health care is like you have to say no so that you can keep your totality together. I think one of the things you point out is like you know, I still love them this time. The other, I think one of the things that helps with to say no is, if you feel so, you must oh, I lost myself there for a second Communicate. Communicate as much as you're comfortable with what's going on.
Speaker 1:It's just about respecting. You should be able to say no, I can't do that, and they respect that. Now, sometimes it might come to a surprise and if you feel so inclined, you can say, hey, I either I feel uneasy or I really don't think this will work for me, or you can provide further like, hey, this is going to really put me at risk. Now, if I explain that to a person, I might feel a little bit bad, but I feel as though I've given them as much information. They can't respect that either. We're not understanding each other Absolutely, and that's for it. Possibly, I mean, I'll listen to what they say, but maybe they're not respected me and it may not be out of disrespect. It may be once again that they, how they treat themselves, is showing up, right.
Speaker 2:Well, it's not just this, they're just their own insecurities, right, that's just knocking. And then, as you're growing and making changes in lifestyle changes and everything else, making them feel a little bad about their stuff. Right, you might not intentionally need to be doing that, but what I've learned, though, in this whole growing process, is that you, you're going to lose people, but you're going to gain people.
Speaker 1:Um, I think the example. So a quick example, I to your point. You know for some people they may get very frustrating Like no, you can only call me a detective. But like I said before, I'm fine with actual friend nicknames. But you know some of the people I'm engaged with they have your friends, your friends.
Speaker 1:That that's yeah, absolutely. So you know, some people might get flustered if I say you know you can only, I only want you to call me a detective Combo. But what is that coming from? It could be they don't believe that they are capable of saying my name Like they doubt their own self capable, their own um intellect, which? Is, it's not great, which is not great, but, as I've told, almost any.
Speaker 2:Now I did. I okay, I'll fess up. I was one of those that that when, when I heard your name or seen it on the thing, I'm like where do I fucking start, do I start? And then. And then I think you were like, just say it how it looks. Yeah, start at a, a, a, a, that's Shalae Boom.
Speaker 1:Got it Right, so I've been around long enough that I know my name. For American English speakers is not going to be the first thing, right, that's not going to be the first thing they're like, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Now a data combo should be a. That's what I could see them saying the Desshaal, or that's you, or something like that.
Speaker 1:And and then it depends on a person, but I've experienced enough to know that people may be somewhat uncomfortable, but sometimes people will go into their own way of being it. Then I have to, then I have to additionally say, be able to say no, Just say well, yeah, and maybe have enough grace to say, okay, this is not where you're at.
Speaker 1:But if I have the strength, that's the other thing you got to go back to. This is about me. He's like I have to say no, that's not acceptable. And also, with the understanding, like I'm going to have grace here because this person is uncomfortable. But if this person is getting angry, it's still have to say grace Like this is this, is their own ego getting in the way? Absolutely, this is their own ego. Now, my, there's not much ego. Some people could say well, you know you're making people say this long name, blah, blah, blah. Because some people will say that I still think that comes from their own personal fear.
Speaker 2:It is because it's like a dead of cumbo. I mean anything that you want to learn, you can learn, Right. So if they're respectful enough to learn your name, they're going to learn your fucking name.
Speaker 1:They're going to learn, right, and you know, I remember people I've known who have names that are English but how they're written and how they're pronounced are not the same, but people would get those names perfectly. It's like, hmm, this is interesting, right, this what's? What's the difference here? I'm black.
Speaker 2:Well for some people. Well for some people, and you come here to Indiana. That might be true, some people.
Speaker 1:that might be true, and God bless them.
Speaker 2:And hopefully they can develop Right. They can let their own demons out their doors.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yep, yep, and so, uh, saying no, I think it is very, very important to yourself. Okay, I mean, I just have so many experiences in which I can recognize people when I should have said, yeah, you know of a certain like a certain example.
Speaker 2:You could share a certain example and don't worry, they're probably not going to see this Like we'll probably get one or two viewers. Well, I mean, like, give me a certain example where you did say no, and then the benefits that came from that.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 2:Do you have one at the moment?
Speaker 1:I think I have a. So, um, yes, I do have one, I'm so I'm not trying to go too heavy here, I'm trying to find something a little bit lighter. It's uh, let me think about this here. Um, you know, I have you got me right, really on the spot.
Speaker 1:I know, I just see these questions like 10 minutes ago he got me on there because it is a question in my brain of how much information am I comfortable with sharing right now, because there are micro things that say no, like I won't go to this meeting, right. But then there are our math life changing things.
Speaker 1:So for me. So one of the things that I know I've said no to is I left an organization that I thought I was not being treated well at, and that is huge for a person like me. I, I'm a millennial, technically I'm an elder millennial, I suppose. How old are you? 38. 38. Yeah, just had a birthday. Yeah, 38, 38.
Speaker 2:Same from 38. Heck yeah, brother, heck yeah. So I knew I was, though I thought you were going to have a phone, a friend.
Speaker 1:I thought I was I for the last year prior, I thought it was 38 and they were like no bro, you're still 37.
Speaker 2:I'm like how old am I?
Speaker 1:How old am I?
Speaker 2:What's my?
Speaker 1:address. But yes, dang, hey, it's true, it's true, it's anyways moving on, moving on, all right, but for me, you know, I'm a millennial and our generation has been being poo pooed on for at least a decade or more about being entitled to leave.
Speaker 2:You know who does it. You know who the people who have power. The people who fucking raised us yeah. It's the people who raised us? Yeah, that are dissonant, yep.
Speaker 1:So you raised us motherfuckers yeah, or the generation or their parents is like oh, you didn't help them Like you like, come on, you guys create the environment and the conditions, but we're. You know I can get onto the whole millennial thing quite a bit, so I reject the idea of millennials being lazy, by the way, because so leaving the fuck up workplaces where you're at Leave at?
Speaker 1:work place. Yeah, so the reason I was bringing up the millennial piece is only simply that the I like the idea of having a job. I graduated into a recession, so people who have very extensive degrees are baristas. Nothing wrong with being barista, Love my baristas. You know, hey there, hey there we go. But you know there are very capable people who could not get a job.
Speaker 2:Right, well, baristas, not going to pay that college tuition right.
Speaker 1:So I mean that was just the market situation there. So for me, having a job, having a job that grants retirement, all those things, I mean it's huge. You know, I would like to have a family at some point. You know, given that the time frame that came in, having enough funds to like buy a house, to start a family or all that stuff, was really hard for our generation at least if you're coming from a big city or lived in a big city, unless you just went straightly to be a lawyer or straightly to be a doctor. Unless you've done that or found your way, for a lot of us it's been a challenge.
Speaker 1:So for me to recognize like this is not just treatment, is not good for my health and it is. It is changing my character slowly but surely. I can't accept that I have to say no to that. So that was extremely hard for me to do. To say no to a guaranteed retirement and guaranteed income Back for a person who all their whole life like, oh, I want to do his work and help people. Right, say no to say no. But here's the thing.
Speaker 2:It's huge. I was in that boat and to say no to all of that shit and my whole reason, reason being is well, with the retirement I wouldn't have been alive, right, right, because I let everything define me and you know, by going the route of alcohol on top of the site, meds on top of everything. But I said no to a study job with the, with the retirement, and that's why I told people I'm like I tried to fucking shoot myself in my front yard. So if I was, what would that retirement mean to me? I mean, it literally means nothing. I'd be dead. So that's the whole benefit and saying no sometime.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean yes, Saying no Sometimes it can literally save. It can save your life. Say no can save your life. I mean, for me I was like my character might die here and I thought I would do anything wrong, but like, the foundational elements of who I was and my beliefs about behaviors could be gone. And who's to say that more wouldn't be lost in the things that I want to achieve? You know what kind of parent would I be if I hated my life?
Speaker 2:Right, alcohol. You know he might take up some other substances and shit.
Speaker 1:And then and then my behavior my attitude like not just being tired, but like what person would I be if I stayed in the culture that I was not valued and respected in, Absolutely?
Speaker 2:So that's a really good example.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's a time where I said no, and that was really really scary, really scary, I mean what you know, though.
Speaker 2:what we've both learned is is all that good shit happens in those scary moments, so I feel like the more uncomfortable like I'm uncomfortable as fuck doing this podcast.
Speaker 2:But, like I told you, it's something I got to do. I have to do this. It will help me learn to talk better. But building, meeting people, meeting more people. Obviously, the ACA is going to bring some exotic stuff here, I mean. So that's why I just call life unscripted. It's because we're going to sit here and chop it up. Sometimes it'll be topics like today, and then some days it's going to be off to rails with some hawks and some owls, yeah, hey. Well, I visited the other day. There were some horses, turtles, there's a rooster running around. It was kind of like chasing me yeah, turn around, chase it back to see if it would stop. And then what I learned while I was out there at the ACA is that in all the movies, when the eagle's flying, yeah, and it makes that crazy sound, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not the eagle, that's the sound of a hawk. That's hilarious Because it has a more aggressive sound.
Speaker 1:That's so funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's a fun fact I learned that that is interesting. We'll have the hawk in here and make nice. They're going to bring them up here.
Speaker 1:That's going to be awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's kind of like that. Was it Saturday Night Live or was it? What show was it where they would bring the exotics in?
Speaker 1:I can't, I don't think it was, I don't know.
Speaker 2:We had to search. It was wild but I had to search, yeah, so Search.
Speaker 1:But I applaud you, so to kind of take a step back. I applaud you for having the courage to come and talk about things or do things that are uncomfortable. So that's once again. We're talking about caveats. Sometimes you have to say yes, a lot of saying no, so that you can say yes to the things that are good for you, that help you grow, that can help you grow Right, help you grow, help you stay whole. So you said no to whatever thing so that you could say yes Today. The bigger things, the bigger things, because you do this, or even just doing this today. Who knows what that will in life for?
Speaker 2:you, we'll get one like and I'll tell you what I love them. There we go. I love that one person that likes this. There we go. You know what I mean? Yeah, like, it's not about vanity metrics. You know, then, how many likes and shares, and I don't give a fuck. It's that we're gonna sit here and make some good content and this is therapeutic for us. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, if it helps one person out there, especially with the day's topic, if it help one person realize that sometimes you have to say no for your own health and well-being, well, cool, like, right, tell us about it.
Speaker 1:Tell us your story, please do please do and note like I've talked a little bit about my story and leaving place. I'm not I'm not particularly comfortable about that. I actually don't like talking about places I've worked at at all period just because you know future employment options. Is that any other you know? And I still have my own ego issues to deal with, but I will. We're getting through that.
Speaker 1:Yeah we're getting through that and I'll add had I not made a decisions, I don't know how well my health would you be in a worse spot. I'll be a work spot and I would have achieved some of the things that I've achieved. I've like, like we're saying, game. I've written quite a few books since then and that's not something I knew I could necessarily do. I'm, I'm, you know, like I knew I could do it, but like I got to do it right and when I'm, if I can make it 65 or 70, 80 years old, whatever happens of my writing. Life was like. I know I Did that, absolutely I know. Here's the thing, I know that I left a place Because I thought better of myself your own health and well-being.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if I had a kid, guess what. I now have a true, real life story to tell them. Like I'm not just telling you do what's best for you, I have done it. I Can speak from a place of a person who's done it. I can talk and connect to some of the fears and concerns or words that they might have you can't pay me to have that experience. That's just experience I have now and that's something that hopefully as this podcast hopefully will help other people in life.
Speaker 2:I love it, man yeah that's we're coming on episode one Thanks for having me. Love you bro.
Speaker 1:Life inscripted with Kevin shook.
